Friday, December 18, 2009

Love marriage or Arranged marriage?

I was talking to my good friend’s mom. She was kind of worried about whom her son, (whom she loves dearly), would get married to. Like any other mom under the planet, she wants everything best for her son…but there is a catch in Indian weddings...

The catch is (Like Chetan Bhagat so nicely said)…

Love marriages are so simple around the world. Girl loves the boy, boy loves the girl and they get married.

In Indian communities there are more steps involved. Girl likes the boy, boy likes the girl. Girl’s parents like the boy and boy’s parents like the girl. Girl’s parents like boys parents and boys parents like girls parents. If boy and girl still love each other, then they can get married.

Ten years ago if I were given this theory, I would have laughed it off. But now, I am fairly sure that the weddings, in Indian way, are done for a reason….a reason, as a teenager, I could/would have never comprehended.

I see so much bitterness in teenagers these days towards their parents and their beliefs. Well if you are reading online news, following a few blogs, forums, you will know that I am telling you the truth. The younger generation (I am not old…err not yet) seem to think that whatever their parents tell is old fashioned.

While to an extent it is good to be globalized, it would be a shame to be totally confused about what is right and what is…no too right.

Perhaps parents also should understand their children…should I say, make and effort to relate to them? The world is not what it was 10 years ago. Video games, MTV, blackberry, money…and sex have crept in to our society. While it might be difficult to ignore what is considered “in” by the teenagers, it would help to think from their perspective too.

And coming back to love marriages; nothing wrong with it either. Parents are more concerned about how kids would lead their married life in harmony if starting from culture to food; from language to religion are different. What ever said and done, courtship is totally different from living with each other in the same home. Living in the same home is not the same as meeting after work/college and hanging out in coffee shops or watching a movie, holding hands and kissing the moment you get a chance.

This is what I keep telling my friend’s sisters (and sometimes my cousins) that marriage is just the beginning of a long journey…a beautiful one.


  1. The parents should and have come to this acceptance that the children must be told-the good and the bad.And left alone after that.
    love marriage now is the in thing even in India and is no longer a subject to raise eye brows.

  2. Perhaps. It would be for good.

  3. While to an extent it is good to be globalized, it would be a shame to be totally confused about what is right and what is too right...perfect.

    Actually parents can not see their children suffer, they are so emotionally attached, otherwise they could tell them the pros and cons of everything and then leave it to them.

    marriage is not about shopping, dining out and travelling is a huge responsibility..first children must understand the meaning of marriage, and then start in that direction.

  4. Thats right Antarman...Sadly many do not think about life "after" marriage. They consider getting married as a "goal". But it is not! It is 100 times more difficult to keep up the love they day prior to marriage when they are actually living together in the wed-lock. are so right about emotonally being attached to children.